2 Insanely Good Self Awareness Books You Need To Read
2 Insanely Good Self Awareness Books You Need To Read
Being self aware is one of those things that we all think we are but most of us journey through life without this understanding. I think many of us are aware of who we think we are, believing we have the qualities we see as important.
Self awareness is understanding your character, behaviour, thoughts, actions and feelings. As someone who’s had to adjust my life because a massive curve-ball, self awareness is something I’ve become fascinated with. Initially, I was dealing with so many emotions and constant pain so there was no room in my life for self study.
When I lost my vocation as a teacher I grieved the loss of the only thing I’d ever wanted to be, other than a mother. I’d put all my eggs in one basket so I completely lost my way, I had no awareness of my purpose. I loved being a mum but I knew enough about myself to know I needed more.
I worked so hard to prove to myself I wasn't a waste of space and really struggled to let myself heal. So I turned to a life coach who helped me deal with the stuff I’d buried, understand my behaviour patterns and set myself goals to rebuild myself. Click here to read about this in my blog about fulfilment.
Along my self discovery journey, I’ve listened to 2 insanely good books that have helped me reflect on my thoughts and behaviours. Both self awareness books have helped me understand myself and my feelings better so I wanted to share my thoughts on these books with you.
In this blog I’ll talk about:
Psychology and Self Awareness
Braving The Wilderness By Brené Brown
Becoming By Michelle Obama
My thoughts on Growth and Self Awareness
Psychology and Self Awareness
In psychology, self awareness is in two categories. The first is subjective self awareness where we look at our behaviour from our own perspective, with the world evolving around us. The Objective Self Awareness Theory was defined in a study by Duval and Wicklund in 1972.
They defined objective self awareness as a person being self-focused or other-focused at any given time, and that when someone was ‘inward focused’ they were comparing themself to the standards from their environment. This leads to adjustments in thoughts and behaviours.
Their work sparked many more studies as more questions arose around the standards we compare ourselves to. To know more about the psychological viewpoint of self awareness please click here to read this article.
This interest has become popular with mindfulness and meditation growing considerably, alongside journalling to spend time on reflection. I write about 3 positive things in my journal every day, which helps me to take a pause. The next step is to have a standard for comparison..
Personality tests are constantly being developed as a point of reference for self awareness. Today I took the Enneagram Type Indicator which has 9 types, each centred around an emotion. I came out as ‘The Perfectionist’, not surprisingly. To take this test click here.
Braving The Wilderness By Brené Brown
Brené Brown is a research professor and storyteller who studies courage, shame, vulnerability and empathy. Her Ted Talk on The Power Of Vulnerability is one of the most watched Ted Talks of all time and is what she’s probably best known for. I stumbled across this accidentally one day but had no idea how much this had blown up. You can watch it here.
A few years later my life coach recommended this book to me. I listened to it on Audible and it just kept hitting home. This is the book that started my mini obsession with Brené who writes the most accessible, research driven Self Awareness Books I’ve come across.
This book’s subtitle, ‘The quest for true belonging and the courage to stand alone’, sings of storytelling. She starts the book with her own confession about feeling vulnerable as she embarks on writing something that may challenge long held beliefs. She draws you in with her personal touch as she tells the story of her findings.
Brené talks about her faith and how this made things difficult for her to belong at school, being in the wrong religion in a Catholic school for starters. For me faith is a very different thing and I wasn’t sure I could relate to her talking about her relationship with God and the church. However her story about her search for belonging is told so beautifully it isn't alienating or preachy.
But it’s that power of vulnerability that keeps pulling me back in as she talks about our tendency to get rid of or cover our pain, hoping that will make it go away. However, she found that the men and women she studied who leaned into joy, practised gratitude. This practice allows us to show our vulnerable moments of joy but without vulnerability there’s no courage to show up.
Michelle Obama’s best-selling autobiography isn’t what comes to mind when you think of self awareness books but her honest reflection on her life is enlightening. I don’t really need to introduce her as she’s one of the most iconic women of our time.
This memoir is an insight into her world and experiences that have shaped her. She speaks of her childhood in a small apartment within a bungalow in Chicago in a typical Black working class community. It was in a time of turmoil in America with riots sparked by the shooting of Martin Luther King Jr.
I love her recollection of being asked on her first date by Barack, one warm summer evening. She recalls him politely asking if he could kiss her and at the moment everything became clear to her. She tells the reader that as soon as she allowed herself to feel anything, all the feelings came rushing; lust, fulfilment and wonder.
She talks openly about balancing her own work as a lawyer and being a mother. However, her honest revelations about her frustrations with Barack moving higher up the political ladder, was an uncomfortable read.
In her words, he became a “human blur, a pixelated version of the guy I knew”.
As they ‘Become More’ with their move to The White House, she describes how suffocating she finds the windows that can’t be opened and the secret service everywhere. She complains about “the new heaviness” the presidency brings with it but at the end of those eight years, she returns to having time for reflection.
I loved listening to Michelle narrate the audiobook herself. Her voice is so calming to listen to and that calm, as she often references, is needed for true reflection. This audiobook won't come up if you search for self awareness books but it’s inspired me to reflect on my own family life and how I’ve balanced motherhood and working. Read my blog about balancing life as a mum and that thing called mum guilt here.
Buy Becoming By Michelle Obama on Audible here.
2 Epic Self Awareness Books For Guaranteed Growth
Whether you’re looking for self awareness books to reflect on the different aspects of yourself or you stumble across these books by chance, I highly recommend them both. They will both open your eyes to how aware you truly are and teach you the importance of taking time to reflect.
I mentioned earlier that many of us are aware of who we think we are. I was reminded of this when I took the Enneagram test, having to stop myself from giving answers for the qualities I may see as important, although these tests aren’t a competition, rather a tool for learning about yourself. Maybe self awareness is really about being brutally honest with yourself.
In Braving The Wilderness, Brené Brown makes you think about your feelings, your habits and your behaviors. This book certainly helped me have clarity on why being vulnerable was something I needed to give myself permission for. She makes sure you know that to guarantee your personal growth, self awareness is key.
In Becoming, Michelle Obama took me with her on her life journey, making sure I knew that the end of the book was not the end of her journey. She shows just how patient and persistent she was, is and will be in the future. She’s a role-model to so many and her honest reflections reinforce the importance of focusing on our own growth.
Both books talk about allowing yourself to feel. For Michelle this revolves around letting go as she begins to fall for Barack. With Brené it’s an understanding from her research that it’s okay to feel pain. Both of these circumstances rely on your vulnerability, even with one negative and one positive emotion. I love how both authors lead you towards this.
After reading these books I know I have to allow myself to be vulnerable so I can be self aware, I’ve learnt from these self awareness books that being vulnerable is not weak or restrictive and that in fact, it will help you uncover the truths that you’re looking for. The secret element to self-awareness is surely our ability to be vulnerable.
Stay safe
Laura 💜
P.S I can help you develop your self awareness focus with this free well-being planner. This is an opportunity to reflect on your habits and prioritise your wellness now. You can also make sure that you’re the first to know when my wellness journal’s launch date. Sign up to my Strong Mum’s mailing list for all this and much more.
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