Strength Of Tears

Tag: mental health journal

An Astonishing Look Into A Day With Chronic Illness

An Astonishing Look Into A Day With Chronic Illness

Ever wondered what a day living with chronic illness and disability looks like? Today I’m taking you on an astonishing look into the highs and lows that can occur day to day, as well as some insight into the strategies that work for me.

From the moment I wake up, I’m already facing barriers. My chronic illnesses make it hard to get out of bed, often leaving me exhausted and in pain. Every day is a balancing act where I have to be mindful of my energy levels and make sure that I’m taking time to rest.

This behind the scenes, focused, look into a day of my life with chronic illnesses, pain, and fatigue is part of a Linkup blog organised by Sheryl Chan from A Chronic Voice. Sheryl has written these questions which I’ve answered to write this blog.

An Introduction To My Chronic Illnesses

In 2009 I was diagnosed with migraine disease after 20 years of undiagnosed attacks. My migraine became chronic in 2013, diagnosed when you have 15+ headache days a month. Every weekend was ruined by migraine attacks.

In early 2014 I fell ill with migraine-like symptoms, which my doctors thought was a month-long migraine attack. When it didn’t show signs of stopping, I noticed whooshing in my ears. My GP told me this new symptom was pulsatile tinnitus. I knew at once this was more than an extended migraine attack.

My local neurologists wouldn’t look into this, and feeling frustrated, I sought specialist treatment in Cambridge. I was diagnosed with Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension or IIH, a rare brain disease, 9 months after my symptoms started.

IIH medication didn’t help and it became apparent that I had an atypical presentation of this rare disease. The Cambridge specialists were working on a trial treatment for people with the same outlook as myself but I’d missed the deadline.

I had to wait another year for this controversial surgical treatment which I found incredibly stressful but had the support of my GP. Meanwhile I tried every migraine preventative to appease my various neurologists, who were all against my treatment plan, but to no avail.

I became depressed and had anxiety because of grief from losing my Career and active life, disagreements with doctors, as well as worries about experimental treatment. If you’d like to know more about my IIH treatment, please read this blog.

What My Day Looks Like

When I first wake up I am confronted with the pain in my face that I live with constantly, this quickly translates to nausea. My thoughts quickly go to when I can take my medications to combat the worst symptoms, which I have to take with food.

Sometimes I wake very early because the pain is off the charts and I have to take a dose of Oramorph to get me through until breakfast. This is the next barrier as I can’t function until my medications kick in. So my husband, Joel, makes me breakfast and brings it to me in bed. Joel prioritises caring for me into his busy morning. Read Joel’s point of view as my Carer here.

My morning is then dedicated to rest as I take many heavy duty pain relief and preventative medications. I usually fall back to sleep while watching television, either a series of snoozes or a block of sleep, depending upon how high the pain is.

On the highest pain days my body simply can’t rest enough to sleep so I will force rest with meditation which is a brilliant restorative practice. So even if I can’t sleep I get some complete rest, often with the help of an oramorph dose. Thankfully on low pain days I don’t even think about taking any oramorph as sleep is enough of a boost on its own.

My Carer, Sam, arrives late morning and brings me a cup of herbal tea and opens my curtains, to help me wake up at noon. Joel does this at the weekend as it’s vital in helping me become operational. They also get clothes out for me so I don’t have to bend down as this increases my intracranial pressure.

Sam or Joel bring me lunch at 1:30pm so I can take my next lot of medicine, both helping me gather enough energy to shower. Some days are easier than others but I use a shower stool to save energy for getting dressed. It’s painful and tiring to wash my hair so I only do this once a week.

On my better days, I’m usually functioning at my best around 3-6pm, so this is when I usually focus on writing my blogs, coaching journal and self-help downloads. I also write for patients at Teva’s Life Effects which you can find here.

My favourite part of the day is spending time with my family when I manage to make it down to the sofa for a change of scenery. This routine only started at the beginning of 2023 as I’ve been building up my stamina by swimming regularly for over a year.

I head down around 6pm and curl up on the long seat, sometimes napping. Then we eat dinner and watch TV as a family which has really helped my mental health as I feel more connected.

I stay down until about 9pm when I take my nighttime medication which is even stronger than my morning regime. I wind down watching TV in bed with Joel, when we get a chance to hold hands and snuggle.

When I actually settle down to sleep, I play Wordle and other puzzles to help keep my brain working. Then I settle down, wearing my frozen ice hat that helps soothe my pain so I can sleep as my pain is always at its worst at night.

An Eye-opening View Of A Day Living With Chronic Illness

What I consider a daily self-care must do.

Writing about what I’m grateful for in my journal helps me remember the positives, even on days that are awful. Living in constant pain is so exhausting and can be very negative if the pain gets on top of you.

Are you are able to do any exercise? If so, what do you enjoy and does it help with managing your pain?

I started swimming in 2022, when my social worker organised for my Carer to take me. I’ve gradually built up to twice weekly. I find swimming helps my pain levels, unless I can’t get out of bed. I have to take Oramorph when I’ve finished, as showering and dressing wipes me out, despite having help.

Things that help me de-stress in my everyday life.

Things that improve my mental health are essential oils, doing my make-up, organising anything, and swimming. I have to pace myself so everything takes longer than someone without chronic illness.

The household chore I have the most trouble with.

Everything! Luckily I have a Carer and cleaners but I’m gradually doing little chores now that I’m downstairs more, such as plumping cushions, drawing curtains and wiping down the surfaces in the kitchen. The worst chore is when the hoover comes out (I don’t do it) but I struggle with the noise.

What’s breakfast, lunch and dinner typically like. Any diet protocols?

My nausea and pain levels dictate my diet and I crave certain foods whilst my body is going from zero to functional. I always have toast and marmalade for breakfast, and this is my go-to when I’m in lots of pain. For lunch I usually have a sandwich and fruit. Dinner is quite varied as this is my best time of day.

I went vegan in 2021 which I believe has contributed to my overall health being slightly improved. I plan the menu for the week so my family, who are pescatarians, generally eat vegan meals as we eat lots of vegetables, lentils or chickpeas and some meat substitutes. Sam preps or cooks a meal in the slow cooker and Joel finishes it off and serves so it’s a team effort.

People I see most often and my favourite activities to do with them.

Sam comes for 2 hours every weekday and Joel works at home so I love having a good natter and a giggle, although this increases my pain levels. I love going out with my family on my best days, which is usually quite spontaneous to make the most of low pain levels.

Joel is my best friend so we plan date nights at home, visits to the village pub and live music and comedy in the last few years. Music has always been our thing so this is vital to our healthy relationship, although I know I will put myself into a week or so of high pain afterwards.

Do you have any pets and how are they a part of your life?

Having rescue cats has rescued me since I became ill in 2014. The wonderful Salmiakki and Finleaf came to live with us in 2019. Salmiakki (a Swedish liquorice) owns me. He knows when I’m in high pain and demands to sit on me so I rest. They are house cats so they always keep me company.

If I could leap out of bed pain free for ONE day within my current environment and circumstances, I would…

tidy and clean the whole house as I’m a control freak. Letting other people organise my house and leaving things that aren’t as tidy as I’d like, has been one of the hardest things to learn since getting sick. I would also see my best friends more often.

Is there anything else you’d like to share about daily living with chronic illness/disability?

I hope people will realise that we never know what someone else is really going through. Whether it’s how much help I need to get going each day, sleeping all morning or going to bed wearing an ice hat, I’m in pain for every second. Some of the time it’s barely noticeable but I feel it dragging me down.

By sharing what my day to day life is like I hope I can raise awareness of the bigger picture as people only see snippets of me online or see me on my best days in person. I am not sharing this for pity or sympathy and I am not complaining.

The Takeaway

Writing about my day living with chronic illness has been quite shocking to me to see how much help I still need even on the days when I’m able to manage more. I feel strongly the need to celebrate the connectivity I have with my loved ones,

Writing this has made me see how much progress I’ve made since I last wrote about my chronic pain conditions. However, my progress is still very small which has reminded me that I still need care every day to function.

I hope that you have found this blog an insight into life with chronic pain. I would love to hear about what surprised you or if you have any questions about anything I’ve mentioned. Just leave a comment below.

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✋ Hey there! I hope you’re feeling stronger now. If so, sharing the love will help me help other mums with chronic invisible illnesses.⬆ Hit one of those sharing buttons or save these images to Pinterest and I will do a bed-bound happy dance – there’s an image for you!

05/07/2023
How To Boost Self Confidence With Inexpensive Activities

How To Boost Self Confidence With Inexpensive Activities

Every woman should have access to valuable and inexpensive tools and techniques to help them navigate life’s struggles and boost self-esteem. Many of us don’t ever access these though, instead, struggle on with low self confidence because there’s always someone or something that we feel we need to put first.

When we face challenges, such as chronic illness, our body and mind work together, in what often feels like a plot against us. This often results in our mental health being put last, which makes it so easy to get stuck in a negative mindset.

Simply put this can lead to a disastrous knock on effect where we actually fail to build self confidence due to negative thinking. This triggers high stress, low self-belief and impacts relationships amongst other outcomes.

Journaling can help you to change your mindset so I have written a self awareness book dedicated to understanding your emotions so that you can engage with your inner voice. The journal prompts in the book are designed to nurture a positive mindset. Find out more by visiting my Strength Of Tears Shop.

It’s so important that you feel empowered to take back control of your mental wellbeing and break through any barriers that may be preventing you from reaching your goals. It doesn’t have to be expensive to build self-confidence so in this blog I’m sharing 10 ways that you can do this.

5 Ways You Can Fail To Build Self Confidence

Before we can discuss activities to build self-confidence, we need to look at what the barriers to doing this are. By this, I mean, our inner talk and thought processes. Negative thoughts are a common companion to chronic illness and can erode your self-esteem, making you feel unworthy.

When negative thoughts and self-talk build up over time, they can have significant effects on your mental and emotional well-being. This can lead to a lack of belief in your abilities and you may begin to doubt yourself. so we have to recognise these thoughts and learn how to build self confidence.

When you engage in negative self-talk, you engage in an internal conversation that can hinder your self worth and prevent you from believing in your own abilities. Negative self-talk is stressful, but journaling can help you. Read this blog about how to identify and change negative self talk.

Negative self-talk could be any thought that undermines your ability and faith to bring positive change in your life. Here are five potential consequences:

1. Increased stress and anxiety: Negative thoughts and self-talk often revolve around self-criticism, doubt, and pessimism. Constantly bombarding yourself with such thoughts raises stress levels and leads to heightened anxiety.

2. Persistent negative mindset: A buildup of negative thoughts can form a pattern of thinking that becomes a habit. This can influence how you see the world, causing you to focus on the negatives and overlook the positives. This can lead to a distorted view of reality and further reinforce negativity.

3. Impaired problem-solving: Negative self-talk can cloud your judgment, affecting your ability to make effective decisions or find solutions. When your mind is overwhelmed by negativity, it becomes challenging to think clearly which can lead to a host of unsolved problems.

4. Impact on relationships: Negative self-talk will affect your relationships as you are likely to project your negativity onto others. It becomes challenging to connect with others, leading to strained relationships and potential isolation.

5. Mental health issues: Left unaddressed negative thoughts and self-talk contributes to the development or worsening of mental health conditions such as depression or anxiety disorders. Seeking professional help is crucial if you find yourself struggling with persistent negative thoughts.

It’s essential to be aware of the impact that negative thoughts and self-talk can have on your overall well-being. Recognising and addressing these patterns is an important step towards cultivating a more positive and constructive mindset.

10 Self Confidence Boosting Activities

These inexpensive activities are easy to access but may need to be adapted according to your chronic illness and mental health. But if you want to build your confidence you will need to make it and yourself a priority so that you can engage in these suggested exercises:

1. Exercise:

Engaging in physical activity releases endorphins, improves your mood, and enhances your overall well-being. You can go for a walk, swim or do home workouts using online resources where you can adapt the exercises to your needs.

2. Practice positive affirmations:

This is a way to kickstart some self-love where you need to repeat positive statements to yourself daily, such as “I am confident,” or “I believe in myself.” This can help rewire your mindset and boost self-confidence.

“The thoughts we choose to think are the tools we use to paint the canvas of our lives.” Louise Hay

3. Set achievable goals:

Break down your larger goals into smaller, manageable tasks. If you need support with this, download my free guide to setting well-being goals here. Accomplishing these smaller tasks gives you a sense of achievement and boosts your confidence.

4. Learn something new:

Taking up a new hobby or learning a new skill is an act of self-care that is so important, yet many of us don’t make time for this. There are many free online resources that can help you learn something new and build your confidence in the process.

5. Rewarding success:

Celebrating successes, however small, boosts confidence and self-esteem. Recognising your achievements and focusing on the things you’ve done well can help you develop more confidence in your abilities.

6. Create a support network:

Spend time with supportive and positive individuals who uplift you and believe in your abilities. Their encouragement can significantly boost your self-esteem.

7. Improve your body language:

Power poses are a fun way to do this as written about in this article. Stand tall with your feet wide apart, hands on your hips, and shoulders back before doing something you’re anxious about. Research shows that these postures have a positive impact on your self-confidence.

8. Dress for success:

Wear clothes that make you feel good about yourself. I find this one of the most effective ways to boost my self-confidence and have even started wearing make-up on a regular basis again. Dressing well can positively influence your self-perception and boost your confidence.

9. Celebrate your achievements:

Take time to acknowledge and celebrate your successes, no matter how small. I plan rewards for completing goals, triggering a dopamine rush which gives a surge of pleasure. This article explains how rewarding your accomplishments boosts your self-confidence.

10. Practice self-care:

Take care of your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Prioritise activities that make you feel good, such as your sleep routine, practicing mindfulness or meditation, journaling or getting creative.

In conclusion

Building your self-confidence is not something that will happen overnight but with small steps, time and effort you will develop feelings of self assurance. Remember to be patient with yourself, practice self-care and smile.

Be kind to yourself whilst you work on changing a negative inner narrative to one that supports your growth. Years of negative self-talk can’t be undone quickly but by being aware of what is holding you back from having positive thoughts, you will be able to address and gradually change your mindset.

By grabbing the issues holding you back with both hands you will allow yourself more success. These 10 inexpensive or free activities are crucial for your journey of growth and will boost self esteem. Remember that this isn’t a quick fix so you have reasonable expectations for your progress and you’ll get there.

You can find a variety of activities to increase your self-esteem in the Strength Of Tears resources, such as my self-awareness journal and life coaching to help you build healthy habits, improve communication skills, and manage stress levels.

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✋ Hey there! I hope you’re feeling stronger now. If so, sharing the love will help me help other mums with chronic invisible illnesses.⬆ Hit one of those sharing buttons or save these images to Pinterest and I will do a bed-bound happy dance – there’s an image for you!

14/06/2023
What You Need To Know About The Mental Health Benefits Of Journaling
What You Need To Know About The Mental Health Benefits Of Journaling

Journaling is a way of recording your thoughts, feelings, habits, and gaining insights for your personal development. It can look different for each individual, some record digitally and some use paper, and it can be written or drawn. It takes work but it’s worth it for the good impact journaling has on mental health.

Journaling has helped me cope with my Mental Health issues since I became chronically ill with migraine disease and was traumatised by the lack of support and, what I now know was, gaslighting from my neurology team.

The stress I was under as I tried for months to get a diagnosis, unable to work as a teacher, was immense. Even when I was diagnosed with IIH, a rare brain disease, I became depressed and had extreme anxiety as I had to wait for over a year for treatment so I had support from a mental health professional.

Whilst facing these challenges I started journaling about my situation as a way of exploring the difficult feelings I had, for example, writing about grieving for the life and career I’d lost.

This helped me work through this extremely emotional phase and I was able to rant without my loved ones being in the crossfire. Writing about my difficult emotions, whilst living with chronic illness, helped me so much that I’ve written about the benefits journaling has on our mental health when done safely.

I have also created an epic coaching journal for mental health that is written to ensure you’re not isolated in the process. The Journey To Balance Journal will help you understand yourself and your mental health needs better. You can buy the journal by clicking here.

You need this 400 page coaching journal!

Forget the trends and get ready for the journal you need as a busy and stressed out mum.

It is split into 4 sections:

Emotional Health Coaching

Goal Setting For Whole Well-being

Undated Monthly and Weekly Planner

Emotion Based Journal Prompt
Journaling is different for everyone, some use it to record parts of everyday life, whilst others use it as an exercise to process experiences, negative thoughts and feelings. Putting these things on the page helps you take back a sense of control. Psych centra says in this article that:

“journaling is a powerful, evidence-based strategy that you may find helpful for managing mental health conditions and stress.”

The mental health benefits of journaling can be powerful, helping you process stress, trauma, and difficult emotions. These are some of the ways that journaling can support you:
- Reduces stress and anxiety
Writing about your thoughts and feelings can help you reduce their intensity and therefore loosen their hold over you, reducing symptoms of stress and anxiety.
- Improves mood
Journaling can help you focus on the positive aspects of your life, which can improve your mood and increase feelings of gratitude.
- Enhances self-awareness
Journaling can help you become more self-aware as you reflect on your thoughts and behaviors. This can help you identify patterns that are causing stress or holding you back.
- Boosts creativity
Writing can stimulate the creative parts of your brain and help you come up with new ideas and solutions to problems.
- Increases mindfulness
Mindfulness is being present in the moment. Journaling can help you practice this by focusing on your thoughts and feelings in a non-judgmental way.

These mental health benefits of journaling show that it’s simple and effective to use journaling to improve your mental health. Regularly taking time out to reflect on your thoughts and emotions helps you develop strategies for coping with stress.

What Should A Mental Health Journal Feature?

Here are some elements that can are often utilised for each individual’s needs in a mental health journal:
1. Mood tracking is one of the most important features, involving recording your mood each day so that you can analyse patterns and look at what may affect your mood. By identifying triggers, you can evolve strategies to manage them.
  
  This is a key feature in the Journey To Balance Journal, based on the theme of the journal and the emotion coaching in the self-help section of the journal. Over a month you record your daily mood on this graphic, colouring in using the key. There’s also space to document how triggers impact your mood.
2. Daily gratitude log allows you to practice gratitude, which is important in promoting mental wellbeing. This exercise helps you beat negative self-talk which can stifle your personal development and impact your mood. Learn more about how to overcome this by reading my blog about beating toxic self-talk.

I set out to ensure that the ‘Journey To Balance’ mental health journal encourages positive self-talk by having a segment where you write down what you are grateful for each day. It’s a quick and easy way to help you maintain good mental health.

3. Self-care habits are one of the mental health benefits of journaling, building self worth by tracking your self-care activities. Using a habit tracker can help you set goals for things that make you feel good and improve your well being. You can adopt and keep up habits such as exercise, meditation or any other activities that promote self-care.

Recording your self-care activities on the habit tracker in the Journey To Balance Journal will help you feel motivated and committed to doing self-care. In the long run, achieving your goal to make these activities habits will improve your whole life.

“In a nutshell, your health. wealth, happiness, fitness, and success depend on your habits.” – Joanna Jast

4. Thought records, according to this NHS information, is a common cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) exercise. It is explained in full here as the practice of recording and studying your thoughts and feelings about a situation so you can understand the link between your thoughts and behaviours.

As explained in the daily gratitude section this is a helpful tool that allows you to identify and challenge negative thought patterns. The gratitude log is part of this section of the Journey To Balance Journal for mental health. Record the thoughts and feelings you have throughout the day, so that you can process your emotions and reframe negative thoughts and feelings.
5. Regular Reflections is a core self care activity. I discuss how this activity and others lead to emotional development in this blog (link). I explain how self reflection is vital for meeting our goals and improving ourselves through regular self care.

In the Journey To Balance Journal for mental health, I’ve ensured that there are activities in the prompts section and space for deep work in the monthly reflection area. This is what makes it a powerful self awareness book as it helps you gain real insight into your thoughts and feelings.

These features should be personalised to your specific needs and goals in a mental health journal. They can be a powerful tool for promoting self-awareness, identifying patterns, and working towards positive mental health outcomes.

Quick Guide: How Is Journaling Good For Mental Health?

From my own experiences with chronic conditions, I have found journaling a helpful tool for balancing my mental health. I used it as an opportunity to explore the difficult feelings I was experiencing as I grieved the life I’d known pre chronic illness.

Journaling helped my mental health during this difficult time period and has continued to do so as I manage the challenges of chronic illness. Journaling gives me space to shout about it without aiming my negative emotions at my loved ones.

It isn’t just me using journaling to process big emotions, in fact it’s well documented that journaling is good for mental health. I found research, such as this WebMD article, that explains that the mental health benefits of journaling include reducing stress, building self-awareness, regulating emotions, and breaking the cycle of obsessing over negative experiences.

In Conclusion…

Journaling is good for your mental health. Recording your thoughts and feelings can be therapeutic, helping you process difficult emotions and experiences. Writing about stressful events can help you make sense of them.

Journaling helps you gain a deeper understanding of yourself, your values, and your priorities. It can help you explore new ideas and perspectives and can be a helpful tool for tracking progress towards goals and reflecting on personal growth.

I know that writing about my difficult emotions whilst living with chronic illness helped me, so I have written the Journey To Balance Journal to include the 5 key features of a good mental health journal: Mood tracking, gratitude journaling, self care habits, thought records and reflections.

This journal for improving mental health puts emotional development front and centre, so that it has a positive impact on your mental health. Chronic illness life comes with many difficult feelings so the Balance Journal allows you to:
- Write freely to help you understand yourself better
- Rant about difficult situations without it being aimed at loved ones
- Use the coaching aspect of the journal to create a safe space to explore your emotions
Overall, journaling can be a valuable tool for improving mental health and well-being. It’s a simple and accessible practice that can be tailored to meet your unique needs and preferences.
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✋ Hey there! I hope you’re feeling stronger now. If so, sharing the love will help me help other mums with chronic invisible illnesses.⬆ Hit one of those sharing buttons or save these images to Pinterest and I will do a bed-bound happy dance – there’s an image for you!
18/05/2023