What Are Young Carers Capable Of With Focused Vision For The Future
What Are Young Carers Capable Of With Focused Vision For The Future
Families living with chronic illness come across many obstacles so many develop new ways of working when a parent or sibling becomes ill. The complexity of each family's situation is unique and wide-ranging but I believe every family can have joyful moments.
Our family has worked as a team since I became disabled and mostly bed-bound due to chronic illness. We’ve found the importance of effective communication crucial to our family going beyond just coping. We chose to be open and honest and prioritising our well-being, so we can thrive individually and as a family. Read this blog about putting your well-being first.
In late 2014, after my condition had worsened significantly, I was allocated a social worker who wanted me to have paid care to take the pressure off of Joel. My boys remember key moments from that time and can now articulate their feelings and reflect on their journey.
By seeing life through the eyes of young carers, we can recognise the obstacles to an enriched future and empathise with them. By listening to young carers' views we can adapt negative situations into positive experiences and focus on their individual needs.
What Are Young Carers?
Young carers are under 18 or young adults who help to look after a relative with a disability, illness and mental health or addiction problems. Caring can be an isolating experience but with the right support there's a much better chance of future success.
Young carers are likely to achieve at a level significantly lower than the expected levels for their stage in schooling. Covid19 has urgently increased the support Young carers need to narrow the gap.
It’s thought that as many as one in five young people are young carers (University of Nottingham 2018), with the COVID-19 pandemic many more children are taking on care responsibilities.
What are Young carers tasks?
Practical tasks, like cooking, cleaning or shopping.
Physical care, such as aiding someone with poor mobility.
Emotional support, including talking to someone in a panic.
Personal care, such as helping someone get dressed.
Organisation, including sorting mail and bills.
Managing collecting prescriptions or sorting medication.
Communication support, such as making phone calls.
Home help including looking after siblings.
Young carers may be giving care from a young age and don't know any difference, but others may become carers overnight. Children usually want to help loved ones but it’s your choice how much and the type of care you give, or whether you should be a carer at all.
Young carers shouldn't be caring for someone in the same way as an adult carer, some jobs just aren’t appropriate. Read this blog about caring, an interview with an adult carer. It’s vital that they don’t spend too much time as this can affect their achievement at school and keep them from normal childhood activities, isolating them.
What Rights Are There For Young Carers UK
Young Carers Action Day raises awareness and calls for action to increase support for young people with caring responsibilities. The recent 2022 action day put focus is on reducing isolation for young and young adult carers including access to short breaks from home and school. Read more here.
Young Carers UK
When good practice is in place, Young carers have access to essential freedom from caring responsibilities. This supports what are Young carers education, training, work and leisure opportunities for a better future.
These actions are important support for young carers uk. When good practice is in place, Young carers have access to essential freedom from caring responsibilities. This supports what are Young carers education, training, work and leisure opportunities for a better future.
““A young carer’s assessment can determine whether it’s appropriate for you to care for someone else, and takes into account whether you want to be a carer.””
A whole family approach is expected practice and considers how care needs impact all affected, carer or not. It places an emphasis on the young carer's views and identifies the required support so they know they can reach their full potential and thrive!
What Support Is Available For Young Carers
Young carers need to know someone is looking out for them so there are vital services that help young people balance caring with being a child or young adult. This can be achieved by providing regular breaks and fun activities with other carers and even as a family.
These organisations help young carers acknowledge their parent's or other family member’s illness or condition and are supported so that they can achieve like their peers. They are taught how to cope, build positive relationships, avoid isolation and plan for their future.
One enterprise is the ME-WE project aiming to strengthen 15-17 year old Carers’ resilience as they become adults. The goal is to impact positively on their mental health and well-being and ease the negative influence of social and environmental factors in their lives.
What are Young carers, able to access as support is wide ranging. The support offers information, advice and practical support. I’ve listed links to many of these at the end of this blog, including pages that have invaluable information themselves.
My Children’s Views On Caring For Me
What are young carers' views? This has become a crucial question in working with the whole family in UK formal assessments. I think all families caring for someone should ask this question every day. Being open and honest builds family connection and empathy
Children have a unique insight into what happens in their family but it’s hard to know when and how to talk about so much around chronic illnesses. Hearing my boys talk about crisis times when they were so young has shown me how seeing my pain must have affected them.
Do I wish they hadn’t had to go on this journey, watching their mum in debilitating pain, crying as I crawled up the stairs each night? Do I wish they could have had opportunities I couldn’t offer? Not anymore. I now see the positive results from their experiences as carers.
What are young carers able to benefit from that their peers can’t?
As a family we’ve developed trust and transparency in every facet of our lives. The boys will be able to cope with any obstacles they’ll face and I’m always here to help them focus on the vision for their futures.
The strategies we’ve developed over time have been shaped by family therapy and my research. But it takes time and effort to get to a point where your child can speak frankly about their experiences.
18 Surprising Truths:
What Are Young Carers Life Opportunities
Young Carer’s Opportunities
Families living with chronic illness come across many obstacles so develop new ways of working when a parent or sibling becomes ill. The complexity of each family's situation is unique but I believe every family can have joyful moments.
My Eldest son turned 18 last month, so here are 18 truths based on anecdotal evidence in the chronic illness community and my boys' views as young carers. The quotes are from my interview with my boys and are cited here as E for Eldest and Y for Youngest.
Young Carers are statistically likely to achieve less academically and we know they’re affected emotionally. However families of any size or make-up, that use caregiver support and focus on joyful moments, can guide young carers towards a future full of opportunities.
Negative acts consume our innermost thoughts and are a part of life, especially when living with pain, illness or disability. If we zoom in on the positives we create balance but we learn from both. Making time to reflect on both and set goals is one of our regular family activities.
As a parent being cared for, teaching my boys core life skills has been rewarding for me. I believe that effective communication and problem solving are key for a young person’s vision for the future. These truths show the positive impact caring can have.
Teamwork - share chores to support the main adult carer and recognise your contribution. Develop a culture of gratitude and appreciation, where everyone feels listened to.
Connections - Prioritise and enjoy time with loved ones, making the most of every day. Create feel-good moments, joy and laughter for the whole family.
Communication - establish honesty so you can really listen to and work with each other to avoid conflict. “To talk about it openly to both Mum and Dad has helped my wellbeing.” (E)
Empathy - Encourage others by being caring, supportive, kind and compassionate. Be aware of other’s pain and know you can help them.
Resilience - the ability to recover from setbacks and cope with difficult conditions. Young carers become very capable at coping with experiences that most young people wouldn’t.
Boundaries - know your limits and what behaviour you will accept. Know when to ask for help and what your roles are. “I was confident in Daddy’s ability to look after Mummy.” (Y)
Self awareness - know the skills you have and the tools you need to help you cope in any situation. Know what triggers negative responses so you can switch to positive self-talk.
Make connections - recognise behaviour patterns to pre-empt when to step in and offer more support. Be aware of accessibility by assessing adaptations, how noisy it is etc.
Self control - regulate your emotions and choose what you want to happen and where to be. Learn to stand up for yourself and how to remain calm when angry or anxious etc.
Problem solving - make informed decisions alone or together and see it’s okay to make mistakes. Identify how to help someone who’s scared, confused, worried or panicking.
Perspective - appreciate others by learning not to judge and think how someone feels in any situation. “We’re more aware of other’s differences so we don’t discriminate.” (Y)
Socialising- make time to see friends so you have a break from caring. Know who to talk to about different situations.
Self esteem - know your worth, be proud of your achievements and recognise your value. “I’m proud of how I deal with Mummy’s illness and how mature I am.” (Y)
Critical thinking - learn new skills and how to use them. Think creatively about your response to new or difficult situations.
Focus - know routines, feel secure and be willing to learn new things to understand the world around you. Learn to handle distractions so you can thrive.
Adaptability - learn to cope when plans change “We go and see Mummy if she’s too ill to come downstairs.” (Y)
Self reflection - think about the choices you made and how you responded to situations - “I have to be more responsible. I can’t just sit back, I have to help.” (E)
Goal setting - use self reflection to recognise the skills you want to develop. Consider the steps you need to take, the help you’ll need and have a timeframe. Choose a reward, it doesn’t have to cost anything e.g. do something new.
In conclusion…
All children caring for a relative face restricted lives and most will suffer academically. The difficulties one family faces will be vastly different to another, so I’ve used anecdotes to represent this. I’m mostly sharing my boys’ personal narrative and our family’s truth.
We’ve always included the boy's feelings and viewpoints in decisions we’ve made about living with chronic illness. As they’ve grown older they’ve expressed themselves clearly due to the strategies we put in place. Working as a team, we remove isolation as we follow our path.
As a family we continue to reflect and adapt as we reinforce positives and learn from the negatives. It’s vital for anyone living with someone who needs care, to listen to each other and be patient. In time you’ll see your children grow around the idea of pain, illness or disability.
““The two things you absolutely need to be a carer are compassion and a sense of humour.”
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All children want to help so if you live with someone needing care they will support them. It’s essential that they feel appreciated and part of the team. Your family deserves the positive impact of caring so utilise the help that’s out there for your child’s life opportunities, like these.
Visit Carers Trust here.
Visit Carers UK here.
Visit Action For Children here.
Visit Young Minds here.
And please help raise awareness on Young Carers Action Day on the 16th March 2022. See the resources here.
Because mental and emotional well-being are crucial to a young carers success, I want to share this free wellness planner I’ve created to help you prioritise for better life balance too. This is also a taster of the the Thrive Not Just Survive Journal, for mums with invisible illnesses coming out soon. Simply click on this link to sign up for your free copy. Please feel free to ask me any questions you have about using this resource.
✋ Hey there! I hope you’re feeling stronger now. If so, sharing the love will help me help other mums with chronic invisible illnesses.⬇ Hit one of those sharing buttons or save these images to Pinterest and I will do a bed-bound happy dance - there's an image for you!
