The Exclusive Guide To Well-being For Life
The Exclusive Guide To Well-being For Life
As a mother your well-being is so important but do you make it your main priority? Being Mum means driving the rest of the family forward, as well as literally driving them around. If you focus on your own well-being, you’ll have the energy to do this.
I love making sure everyone’s wellness feels uplifted, but I reached a point when my well-being needed to take priority. I am sharing how I learnt about wellness and well—being to help me look after myself and prioritise my family.
This exclusive guide is for every mum, regardless of how old or young your kids are. It’s for you whether you face depression, anxiety or chronic illness. We all do our best with the tools we have, so this post is a guilt and judgement free zone.
This is for you if you take the kids to all their activities, cook amazing meals whilst helping with homework; your teen cleans up after tea, you don’t know how to help your child when they're being bullied, you’re stuck in bed all day or anything else.
This guide looks at the elements needed to find well-being for life so you can fulfil your own needs and find your purpose. I’ll deep dive further into key aspects of this blog in coming posts. To get the most from this blog, click below to download your free guide to wellness priorities planner.
This guide supports you to make simple mindset shifts for better well-being for you and your family, whatever your home life looks like, how old your children are or what size your house is. This guide is for mums to build solid foundations for their family.
By the end of this blog you will know:
Why And How Wellness and Well-being Needs Managing
Each Wellness Area And Learn What To Improve
How Your Well-being Affects Your Family Interactions
How To Reward Physical and Emotional Well-being Growth
How To Make A Simple Focus Well-being Plan
I hope you find this an insight into your own wellness and how the changes you make for you and your own family’s health, will impact your well-being for life.
* Disclaimer - this blog contains affiliate links to products that I have tried and loved. If you do buy anything using this link, I get a small monetary reward at no cost to you.
Why And How Wellness and Well-being Needs Managing
Wellness: the quality or state of being healthy in body and mind, especially as the result of deliberate effort.
Well-being: a state characterised by your health, happiness, and prosperity; welfare
From dictionary.com
Wellness and Well-being both focus on our state of health and by using them both strategically, but simply we can make a shift in our mindset. If you can focus on these areas to make them work well, then you’ll feel secure.
As someone living with chronic illnesses, wellness is hard to aspire to, so I have to approach all my healthcare decisions based on doing the best I can for myself now and try to prevent future conditions by looking after my body and mind.
Therefore wellness for me, is working towards the best state of mental and physical health possible. It’s about actively choosing to take self-responsibility for my own behaviour toward an outcome of healthy living and well-being for life.
To make the right choices I’ve had to understand some of the psychology of wellness and well-being so I could make conscious changes. By focusing on these I’m able to process ideas and reach appropriate solutions more easily.
I’m using the psychology of Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Needs which is still relevant in 2020. I believe that physical wellness, feeling safe, relationships based on love and secure friendships, before we can fulfil our potential in life and love.
This is commonly used to support personal development in the workplace but I believe it’s a great structure for personal and family growth.
Maslow’s self actualisation is the highest state for you to find meaning and purpose in life, which links to your emotional and physical health. Read this Forbes article about how a strong sense of purpose builds our resilience in face of challenge.
“By identifying what humans need and what drives and motivates [us, we] can develop mutually beneficial relationships and positive environments”
Reaching a high level of satisfaction in your life has a positive effect by maximising your pleasure or from living with your true self. A positive family meets the needs of individuals by creating a place of security and trust for one another.
Positive relationships play a huge part in our wellness and wellbeing. I’m fascinated by the 5 Love Languages by Dr Gary Chapman. He explains how we give and receive love through a simple strategy shown to build positive relationships.
A little insight into some of the thinking behind how to well being for life helps you find solutions and influence the actions you take to improve our wellness. These breakthroughs lead to change in your mental and physical health.
Well-being is your current state as you use wellness areas to plan your next steps towards improved well-being. Understanding the wellness areas has helped me create more achievable goals so my future health will based on focusing on my wellness to the best that I can.
Understand Each Wellness Area And Learn What To Improve
In my research I came across this diagram showing 8 areas of wellness (It seems to change with 7 and 9 elsewhere). Knowledge about these areas of Wellness and how they fit into your life, helps you decide what action to take.
Wellness is a choice to work towards what you aspire to. This diagram shows that physical and mental health are linked, so you consider your needs holistically. The journal I’m creating will have a guide for fitting them into your life for balance.
Dimensions Of Wellness
Emotional Wellness is about coping with life effectively and building strong relationships. I’ve discovered so much about how I look after myself and others by listening to this amazing book on Audible: Braving The Wilderness By Brene Brown.
2. Physical Wellness is looking after your health through exercise, hydration, sleep hygiene and nutrition. We get a Vegetable Box delivered weekly. As I’m Vegan and my family are Vegetarian this inspires nutrition and variety in our diets. Click here to set up your own box, however often you need to.
3. Intellectual Wellness is about seeing your creative abilities and actively seeking ways to expand your knowledge and skills. I love the idea of learning with a friend.
4. Social Wellness is creating relationships with others and forming support networks with two way connections. You could try strengthening bonds on one of these Crystal Maze Experiences in London and Lancashire.
5. Occupational Wellness is finding satisfaction and enrichment in your choice of career or in being a Stay at Home Mum.
6. Financial Wellness isn’t about how much money you make but how you use it. Feeling good about how you use money and talking about it is healthy. Know if youre satisfied with your situation or gain confidence about future finances.
7. Environmental Wellness is creating a pleasant, stimulating environment around to support your overall wellbeing. I use calming items like this gorgeous Soto Aroma Diffuser by Neal’s Yard Remedies, with essential oils.
8. Spiritual Wellness is something you strive for, whether religious or not. This helps you discover that meaning in life you strive for. Look for opportunities to grow and learn by reading (check out Oxfam online below) to connect with your true self through using mindfulness. You can learn more on The Benefits Of Meditation by reading this blog post.
Understand How Your Well-being Affects Your Family Interactions
To see the whole picture your family dynamics matter too. As Mums we have to be role models and encourage healthy habits from day dot. I know it’s easier said than done - I have teenagers glued to X-boxes but we use rewards to motivate them.
I’ve created 4 steps, incorporating each wellness area. This will help you recognise things in your life, including you’re parenting skills, to help you improve your overall physical and mental wellness.
To help you work out you’re starting points to create well-being for life habits, work through the bullet points at your own pace and in whatever order works best for you.
Creating Time And Space - Start by building your physical and environmental wellness for a healthier home and family life.
Create a varied diet by eating a range of nutritional foods and cooking new things with and for your kids to try to start healthy habits early.
Get outside with your kids most days. This is the time to play with them and be active by working at your own pace,
Show your kids how sipping water through the day is good for your body and mind. It’s great for you physically and helps your skin glow.
Sleep is so important, as well as creating a better vibe at home, it helps motivate you, keeps your mind focused and emotions in check. I love naps!
Your home need to be a safe space with regards to your environment. So grow plants, create calming spaces and set quiet times for you all.
2. Safety and security - Stay on the theme of building safety with financial security and occupational satisfaction wellness
You’re aware of the financial implications as soon as you have kids and see the reality of the amount of clothes you need for one day,so get budgeting.
Creating security for your family is something we hardly discuss. It's stressful but make time with your partner or get help to discuss savings, pensions etc.
I’ve tried working full time, part time and not at all. It often felt like I wasn’t good at my job or as a Mum. This has to be your choice but keep talking.
Check in often with your partner about how their day and create boundaries for getting things off your chest. It’s not healthy for the family to hold things in.
Find ways to build a deeper connection with your family. Eat together when you can and chat to them or get them to visit you in bed when they get home,
3. Making Connections - Build emotional relationships within your family and develop your social support with your wider community for your family.
Your emotional well-being will be affected by your stage of motherhood and womanhood. Take time to look after your emotions from hormonal changes.
Consider immediate family emotions in your decisions. Do you need help solving squabbles, supporting anxious teens or making time for romance?
There are many personality types within a family to balance emotionally. Take these 5 Love Languages quizzes so you can develop family communication.
Focus on social support networks with friends that have children when you do and/or reconnect with your friends who know you well, to turn to in a crisis.
Talk about and let the kids see how to look after someone who's hurting or solve arguments quickly. You can role play them in a family meeting too.
4. Development and Growth - Finding time for intellectual and spiritual growth is hard, although as we come out of the last few years of the pandemic, I expect many of us have tried to.We all need to spend time learning new things, whatever age we are or if we have chronic illnesses. It improves self discipline and boosts self confidence!
We saw many Acts of Kindness during the pandemic. These create a rush of positive chemicals, increasing our self worth and sense of fulfilment.
Make time to relax and be creative. Try a new class out of your comfort zone. Include older kids or a willing partner, this could be a reward or bonding time.
Time for ourselves is a reward that all mums need. I plan a weekly reward based on self care, It’s not selfish to plan me time so get thinking!
Try mindfulness and/or meditation by exploring what style works for you. Read this post to guide you through some techniques to help with stress and anxiety.
Step 4 has ideas for your well-being plan from the top tier of Maslow’s Hierarchy, which naturally comes after you’ve built the foundations. Plan around what you feel is most important for your creativity and spirituality. Get This Free ''Understanding How To Improve Your Well-being’ Guide for support.
How To Reward Physical and Emotional Well-being Growth
Before you can properly take your first steps to plan your well-being target(s), you need to prioritise the most important read of wellness you need to improve well-being for life. To help stay focused on your plan, you should use rewards to help you stay on track to meet your goal or intention.
Rewards work because we’re motivated by dopamine which tells it whether a good or a bad thing is about to happen so we either act because of the promise of getting a reward or avoiding punishment.
I set rewards for all my goals and commitments, work and personal goals. When I reviewed my targets recently I realised the change of routine in lockdown had interrupted me achieving them. I know it sounds ‘workplace’, but it helps me. I recommend setting times to review your progress towards your targets.
However learning to roll with the changes that occur from life with challenges, means moving the goal to work at your own pace. If your symptoms flare, use the thought of your weekly reward to think positively. You need a visual to keep you motivated. I make a Pinterest mood board, to create an image of the target and reward.
My first well-being plan was simple, focusing on one goal for my physical wellness. I aimed to be kind to myself by listening to my body; more rest and starting bed yoga. This would impact my whole life by strengthening my foundations of physical rest and care for well-being for life.
I thought of what I needed to help me meet this goal and I needed my support network, so I asked Joel and the boys. They could stop me doing things if I looked unwell and I used timers/alarms, I still use these things if I need to be kind to myself.
As I’ve never been good at doing nothing I needed rewards to keep me focused on my goal. As I can have a flare at any time from living with chronic pain, I’ve had to learn when to go back to basics.
Despite this being on my well-being plan a way back, I know it’s something I still need to be reminded of so I’m planning a reward for motivation. Rewards trigger our brain into wanting positive outcomes, therefore rewarding positive and emotional well-being growth.
Rewards can be anything from an experience to a small gift or food occasionally. I’ll be sharing more ideas for these in the new journal I’m creating. If you want to make sure you’re the first to know, get sneak peeks and be on the waiting list please join my mailing list.
How To Make A Simple Focus Wellbeing Plan
I’ve developed my wellness plans over the years and have supported others with creating their plans. I’m excited to add these options to my new journal so you can start thinking about it.
Well-being plans are focused with targets to set intentions and make commitments. They have to be focused on the most achievable area for your wellness and must make the biggest impact on your well-being for life.
You can put all of this together with these simple steps and focusing on your areas of wellness. This quick and simple activity can help you spot patterns.
Go back to the 8 areas of wellness above. On the table below score each area from 1-10 in relation to how you think you’re already managing. 1 is not meeting it at all and 10 is when you’ve got it down!
2. Now list the 3 lowest scoring areas in order. Choose 1-3 topics from these that you need to focus on in your life now. Keep them short and simple.
3. Write 3 actions to make changes in the three areas in this table. Or choose one action for the worst 3 areas. E.g. I will meditate for 5 minutes each day.
4. Write the support you will need to help you achieve each target or intention.
5. Write the reward you will get when you achieve your target or intention and how you’ll know you achieved it. E.g When I’ve meditated every day for 1 month I will have a spa treat.
You can download this free Planner to print and reuse, along with a 'Understanding How To Improve Your Wellbeing’ Guide - Click here for your free copy.
For some guidance of actions you can take go back to the bullet points in the 4 steps to well-being section above. This planner comes with the 8 areas of wellness included.
If you need a little more guidance, read this ‘What Is Wellness?’ article from the Global Wellness Institute
Please let me know if you try this simple planner out in the comments.
The Takeaway
You need to understand that wellness leads to your well-being for life. It’s important to look after your mental and physical health to prioritise needs.
Having your own awareness of the eight wellness areas I’ve talked about in this blog, helps you understand human needs better. This information helps you to prioritise your needs.
Understanding the importance of relationships is vital to you making progress whether it’s positive or negative. Having my family help me stick to my commitments is so important.
Rewards are important in helping you achieve your goals from a scientific process in the brain. Your brain prepares you for both good and bad outcomes. Try to use these strategically to focus.
You’re equipped to consider your relationship with the areas of wellness and plans for your intentions or targets. Keep going back to your 3 ‘I will’ sentences and remind yourself of your reward. Keep it short and simple.
Disclaimer
If you’re struggling with your wellness and need targeted support from a health professional please speak to a doctor. I am not a trained healthcare professional.
Online Support
You can access these websites from charities and organisations for additional support.
Go to the Mind website for mental health support.
Go to the National Well-being Institute here for further support.
I also recommend these two podcasts to check out.
Your Wellbeing Podcast - Mind Body Spirit Festival
What areas of wellness do you think you need support in? Tell me in the comments what has helped you or made you think whilst reading this blog.
Stay safe, Laura 💜
P.S I can help you build on the areas of your well-being you may be neglecting without realising. If you want to get sneak peeks, get on a waiting list or start focusing on your well-being for life sign up to my newsletter at the bottom of the page. ⬇
✋ Hey there! I hope you’re feeling stronger now. If so, sharing the love will help me help other mums with chronic invisible illnesses.⬇ Hit one of those sharing buttons or save the images to Pinterest and I will do a bed-bound happy dance - there's an image for you!
